Supporting someone with an eating disorder can be one of the most challenging and emotional experiences a parent, partner, family member, or close friend can face.
If someone you care about is struggling with an eating disorder, it is important to remember that recovery is possible, and that appropriate specialist support can make a significant difference.
At Next Steps Clinic, we support not only the individual experiencing the eating disorder, but also the people who care about them most.
You may feel worried, frustrated, helpless, frightened, or unsure of what to do. Many people describe feeling as though they are constantly walking a fine line between wanting to help and not wanting to make things worse.
If You Are Concerned About Someone
Often, eating disorder behaviours develop as a way of managing distress, emotions, uncertainty or difficult life experiences. Over time, these behaviours can become entrenched and difficult to change, even when the individual desperately wants things to be different.
You may have noticed changes such as:
- Increased preoccupation with food, weight, shape, exercise, or eating habits
- Restrictive eating or avoidance of certain foods
- Episodes of binge eating
- Compensatory behaviours such as vomiting, excessive exercise, or misuse of laxatives
- Weight changes Increased anxiety around meals or social situations involving food
- Withdrawal from friends, family, or usual activities
- Mood changes, irritability, low mood, or heightened distress
Families often ask:
- “What should I say?”
- “Should I challenge behaviours?”
- “Am I being too soft?”
- “Am I being too strict?”
- “How can I help without making things worse?”
Even if you are unsure whether what you are seeing is an eating disorder, trust your instincts.
There is rarely a perfect answer. Every individual and every family is different.
Our role is to help identify practical ways loved ones can support recovery whilst maintaining healthy boundaries and reducing conflict where possible.
How to Support Someone You Care About
- Listen more than you advise
Creating space for someone to talk openly about their experiences can be more valuable than trying to solve the problem immediately. Focus on listening without judgement and expressing concern from a place of care. - Avoid focusing on weight or appearance
Comments about weight, shape, eating, or appearance – even when intended positively – can sometimes reinforce eating disorder thoughts and behaviours. - Stay curious and compassionate
Try to understand what may be happening beneath the behaviours. Statements such as “I’ve noticed you’ve been struggling lately and I’m concerned about you” or “you don’t have to manage this on your own” can feel less threatening than criticism or confrontation. - Encourage professional support
Eating disorders rarely improve through willpower alone. Specialist assessment and treatment can help individuals understand their difficulties, address underlying psychological factors, and rebuild a healthier relationship with food, their body, and themselves.
When Someone Does Not Want Help
Looking After Yourself
It can be particularly difficult when you are worried about someone who does not recognise the severity of their difficulties or feels unable to engage with treatment.
In these situations, maintaining a supportive connection is often important. Continue expressing concern, keep communication open, and seek guidance for yourself where needed.
You do not have to carry the responsibility alone.
Supporting someone with an eating disorder can have a significant impact on your own wellbeing. It is common to experience stress, anxiety, exhaustion, guilt, helplessness, or feelings of isolation.
Many family members and partners spend so much energy focusing on the person they are worried about that their own needs are overlooked.
Looking after yourself is not selfish – it is an important part of being able to offer ongoing support.
This may involve:
Seeking support from trusted friends or family
Accessing your own therapeutic support
Learning more about eating disorders and recovery
Setting realistic expectations and boundaries
Making time for your own physical and emotional wellbeing
How We Can Help
The Next Steps Clinic provides evidence-based psychological and dietetic treatment for individuals experiencing eating disorders and disordered eating.
We work collaboratively with clients and their loved ones to understand the factors maintaining their difficulties and to support meaningful, sustainable change. This may include:
- Understanding how eating disorders function
- Learning effective communication strategies
- Responding to distress and anxiety
- Managing setbacks and lapses
- Building confidence in supporting recovery
If you are concerned about someone and would like to learn more about how specialist support can help, we would be pleased to hear from you.
FAQs
Can I be involved in the treatment process?
Yes! We encourage involvement of loved ones according to the individual’s preferences and care plan. This may include joint therapy sessions, participating in 30-minute weekly check-in calls, attending assessments, or joining midway and ending care review meetings. Your role can be flexible and supportive without compromising the your loved one’s autonomy.
What does the 12-week enhanced support pathway include?
Our pathway is entirely online to make it as accessible as possible and to integrate treatment into your loved one’s daily life. It includes:
– 50-minute weekly psychology session
– 50-minute weekly dietetic session
– Two 30-minute check-in calls each week (to talk, to practice skills, etc.)
– Midway and ending care review meetings
– Bespoke meal plan
– Assessment and discharge reports
– Personal relapse prevention plan
The pathway can be extended up to 24 weeks if needed, though we aim to discharge at the end of the 12-week treatment. We will discuss your loved one’s options for extension (if relevant) and clinical recommendations as they approach discharge.
Will I receive guidance on managing my own stress and emotions?
Yes. We recognise that supporting someone with an eating disorder can be emotionally challenging. Depending on your involvement with your loved one’s treatment, we can provide advice and strategies for maintaining your own wellbeing and resilience while helping your loved one.
How do I start the process if I want to explore this treatment for my loved one?
We try to make it as easy as possible for you to reach out to us. You can fill in a contact form on our website HERE or email us at hello@nextstepsclinic.com. We will then be in touch to arrange a free 15-minute call to discuss your concerns and questions. We aim to respond to messags promptly and will always be transparent with you if we feel your loved one might benefit from alternative support.